Ellie Williams (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sallyfuckingride) wrote2024-12-17 03:08 pm
sallyfuckingride) wrote2024-12-17 03:08 pm
Entry tags:
[for neil]
A week isn't that long to go without hearing from someone. Shit, I forget to check my phone for that long, too. I keep it with me when I go out, not just for Joel reasons. Darrow's fucked up.
For Neil and me, a week's a long time. He'll deny it, but I think he's keeping a closer eye on us since the Purge. He got so pissed at Joel, so scared for us both -- and then a week of nothing?
If Neil is dead, I'm going to kick his ass.
Every day after school, I go to the gas station for a snack. It's the best part of the day; my reward for making it through another day of mind-numbing repetition without punching anyone in the face. Today, it is closed. I kick the doorframe in punishment. Gotta find my snack somewhere else.
My quests merge. Instead heading right to go home, I veer left.
Obviously, I try the door first, but it's locked. No cars in the driveway. Gwennie is probably still at school. And I want my fucking snack.
To Neil's credit, the windows are locked. It's not his fault my knife is narrow enough to undo the latch from the outside. I'm inside in minutes, grabbing an apple from his fridge.
"Green one! Nice." I grab a soda, too and lean against the counter. I cross my ankles, since I can. The boot is finally gone.
I'm well into a bowl of cereal by the time the door opens. I'm stuffing my face at the table, and tracing my finger through a maze on the back of the box.
For Neil and me, a week's a long time. He'll deny it, but I think he's keeping a closer eye on us since the Purge. He got so pissed at Joel, so scared for us both -- and then a week of nothing?
If Neil is dead, I'm going to kick his ass.
Every day after school, I go to the gas station for a snack. It's the best part of the day; my reward for making it through another day of mind-numbing repetition without punching anyone in the face. Today, it is closed. I kick the doorframe in punishment. Gotta find my snack somewhere else.
My quests merge. Instead heading right to go home, I veer left.
Obviously, I try the door first, but it's locked. No cars in the driveway. Gwennie is probably still at school. And I want my fucking snack.
To Neil's credit, the windows are locked. It's not his fault my knife is narrow enough to undo the latch from the outside. I'm inside in minutes, grabbing an apple from his fridge.
"Green one! Nice." I grab a soda, too and lean against the counter. I cross my ankles, since I can. The boot is finally gone.
I'm well into a bowl of cereal by the time the door opens. I'm stuffing my face at the table, and tracing my finger through a maze on the back of the box.
no subject
And I'm kind of jealous. If only Riley and I were separated by breakup. For a blissful fifteen minutes after we finally kissed, I really believed we'd be together forever. I got sad and tired. Never relieved. It ended the way it ends for everyone back there. Everyone except for me.
Now isn't the time.
"I saw a fucking pillow that said 'don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.' It was the dumbest thing I've ever read. You're gonna feel what you feel."
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It was definitely the dumbest thing I'd ever heard, but there was no way I wasn't keeping an eye out for that awful fucking thing.
"He's a really great guy. That's what I kept thinkin', you know? He's this really great guy. I'm lucky. We've got a good thing goin'." I shrugged helplessly.
no subject
Huh. I lean in, curious. "What's that mean?" Because I know how I can come off, I add, "I mean it. I don't know what that means. What's a great guy to you?"
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I huffed a laugh, amused by her need to pick all of this shit apart.
"He's stubborn. And loyal. He can be a real asshole, but he's kind. And brave. I can trust him. And count on him. Or, I used to think so. He's seemed so... checked out. His friends from home– it's complicated with them. They're all younger than him, here. Barely outta high school. I don't think he knows where he fits, and I can't... I can't figure that out for him."
no subject
Man, this place is random as fuck.
"Doesn't sound so great to me." Honestly, I never got to know Bill real well. There's nothing wrong with him. He didn't take an interest in me and I didn't take one in him. I only care because Neil does.
no subject
"Well, I broke up with him, didn't I?" I pointed out, one corner of my mouth curved in a humorless smile.
"Haven't told Joel. So, you can't give me shit for not tellin' you first," I teased her, my shoe knocking into hers under the table.
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It's funny how it kinda feels like Neil's always been around. A brief flicker of a smile tugs at a corner of my lips before I lean back in my chair, arms crossed.
"You want me to bake you a cake? I had to climb in through your fucking window to find out."
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"You bake me a cake, I guarantee you I'm not eating it."
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Honestly, it means a lot. But I already told him once, so he's not gonna hear it again.
"I guess that means you're free to pursue whoever you want."
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"Pursue whoever I want? Jesus," I said, giving her a look. "What's that supposed to mean."
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I'm not convinced Joel ever had friends before. If he did, maybe they sat as close to each other as he and Neil do, but I doubt it.
This is another one of the many unnamed things between Joel and me. He's good at having a gay kid, but how well would he manage gay panic?
It's just an inkling at this point. A vibe is what some of my classmates might say.
"It means what I said. Find a new step-dad for Gwennie or don't. Just don't settle."
no subject
"She and Bill never really connected," I admitted with a rueful smile. "It was one of those things that got under my skin."
I never would've made her an excuse for why we broke up, but from now on, she had to factor into everything I did. It was unsurprising that Ellie would get right to the heart of that.